My Hellian Child!!!

So I get him home from church and we are eating lunch and watching TV (trying to get a nap in) and he has stinky pants so I go to change him. I’m teasing him saying “wow son…you got a stinky butt!” So I get his diaper off, and he says “that f*ck!ng stinks mom!” I of coarse gasp and ask “what did you say?” “I didn’t say anyfing momma!” so I proceed to change his diaper and get done and sit him up level with me so we can see eye to eye. I told him that the “F” word is not a word that we say, and then next time I hear him say the “F” word, I am going to put hot sauce on his tongue. I told him that went with any other swear word, and even when he takes God’s name in vain. (He really likes that one, and loves to follow it up with Dammit!) He tells me ok, and I let him get down to play.
So later that evening we had gone to my mom’s for Sunday dinner. After dinner we were all sitting around in the living room telling stories, and teasing one another, and we were teasing Rebecca that Kalani told her that she was a B@st@rd when he was little. Well my little hellion was playing down stairs with his cousins, so we thought we were safe, but of coarse he is crawling up the stairs and heard Grandma say B@st@rd. As soon as he reaches the top step he says “who’s a b@st@rd gama?” I then warn him again and tell him that Bastard is a swear word, and he says it again, he will get hot sauce!
So we go home and we are winding down, and Sai is in my room with Scott playing with my cars on the side of my bed. Scott leaves him in there and comes out to the living room. About 5 minutes go by and Scott goes back to the room and finds that Sai had bitten off all the erasers on the colored pencils that I have sitting by the side of my bed. So I tell Sai to come to me, and he comes in the living room and walks right past me, like I didn’t say anything! So of coarse I get him and sit him on my lap, well he instantly starts crying cuz he knows he is in trouble. I ask him if he bit the erasers off, and he tells me no. I warned him and said if he lied to me that he would be in bigger trouble. So I asked him again, and he says no. I ask him if he didn’t do it, who did? He proceeds to tell me that Daddy did it. (By now I am busting a gut when ever he lays his head down crying!) Finally after 10 minutes of coaxing and spanking, he finally tells the truth.
I do not know what I am going to do with this child!